My morning routine has not changed for several years. At 6:4o there is the pad, pad, thud of the cat coming up the stairs (the thud is because she only has three legs and her back end is rather more ungainly than that of the average cat) followed by the duvet being dragged down as she scrambles onto the bed. She potters towards the pillows and sits gently on my head, indicating that it is time she was fed.
At 6:45 the alarm goes off (followed by the cat as she leaps to safety) and I reach to turn the alarm off and grab my phone to check the news, email and how poorly I am doing in my latest game of scrabble against a colonial cousin.
I’ve a new phone. I abandoned the apple flavoured one as it was spending more time on the phone charger than off it. I now have “HTC one (M8)”. I thought the M8 might be text speak for the phone being the ultimate best buddy but it turns out that it’s just the one after M7.
New phone is showing that I sent several emails around 1:30 last night. I don’t remember sending any emails at all. Certainly not at that time of night, after all, it’s a work night and I think I was fast asleep by that time. Confused, I checked the contents of the sent emails. They were all different but along the same lines. An example of a couple, word for word are.
“Well you might say that, but is it a bad thing? Here I’d a choice: I’m ravaged by illness and I shall be spending my life struggling to breath and will need somebody to help me to the toilet for”
“The Soviet presence is probably s fake. When they landed on the moon they didn’t expect the consequences and so they only took”
The curious thing about both of the above examples are the mistakes. I have been struggling with the predictive text on the keyboard. I have frequently sent “I’d” instead of “I’ve” and I am constantly typing “s” instead of “a”, so I suspect that I have, in the middle of night, sleep-typed emails to random acquaintances. Not only have I sent these emails but the contents are of a somewhat dubious nature.
That’s not the most worrying thing though. I (or the phantom email writer) has also deleted all of the text messages from the phone. Every single one of them. I have phone contacts going back years, both business and personal. There are about 500 mobile phone numbers stored and there’s just a small chance that I may have sent equally random text messages to random people and then deleted them so now I have a dilemma. Do I send a text to everybody on my phone saying “Sorry if you got a weird message from me last night” or is that going to be seen as even weirder by anybody who didn’t get a text?
I think I shall just keep my head down. I think I shall probably turn the phone off tonight and leave it locked in a cupboard somewhere, just in case.
The daily prompt today refers to the worst case scenario, I can’t possibly imagine what the comeback from the wraith of the phone will be, but if you did get a message form me last night. Can you tell me what it said please?