Would I lie to you?

The daily prompt asks “is it possible to be too honest, or is honesty always the best policy”.

It’s a conundrum.   There’s a little puzzle that goes something along the lines of “Cris, Jon and Andy are three friends. One always tells the truth and one always lies, you can ask each of them one question, what questions do you ask to find the fibber”.

Something like that anyway.   I thought I’d put “Truth or dare” into Google to see what it came up with.  Oh my.   The first site on the proffered list lit up the warning signals of my McAfee security thingy like you wouldn’t imagine.    As I’m writing this in a heavily populated office of obviously delicate little angels the HR department descended like a hoard of screaming wraiths.   Chanting something along the lines of “don’t search for porn on company time” I was brutally tongue lashed for daring to type such a phrase whilst I should be designing a really boring invoice layout for a very small company with no colour taste whatsoever.  I wonder what would have happened if I had typed in “Rhino slasher porn”   (I did, I’m still number one!).

Is it better to be too honest?   There’s a game I play occasionally, described by Mark Twain (amongst others) as “a good walk, ruined”.   It would be fair to describe my level of expertise at this game as “somewhat lacking”.  I can make the ball go absolutely anywhere except where I want it to go.   This frequently involves visits into nearby stands of trees and my extremely patient friends will hear a swish, a thwack and an “Oh bollocks” several times before I emerge some yards distant from where I entered.   On reaching our final destination the question is invariably asked “What did you get on that one Rob?”  to which the reply is equally invariably “Seven, I think”.   I’m only cheating myself.

I think my threshold for truthfulness flounders at the feet of exaggeration.  It is where I fall down time and again.   Hyperbole is as much a part of my life as eating five pieces of fruit a day, every day.  Is it just me who always reads hyperbole as hyper bole?   Should I ever use the word in conversation things may get very confusing.   My listener would think I was referring to a tournament of such great renown that the mere Superbowl pales into insignificance.

I would argue that the embellishment of everyday facts is a quintessential part of me.   You could say that the sum of the facts add up to far more than the total.   Certainly in both this blog and the other one (the Macbeth blog, if you will) I try to brighten things by gilding the lily from time to time.   It’s not necessarily lies, just using my imagination.   It’s no worse than airbrushing to make a picture look better.

So in summary, I think that what I’ve just said is that to any of you who uses Photoshop, any of you who use a literary device to help write your blog.

Liar liar, pants on fire.

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13 Comments

Filed under rants

13 responses to “Would I lie to you?

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  13. Loved it. I once dated a woman who I was madly in love with, but it all came crashing down becuase of her, “I never tell a lie, and I don’t trust anyone who would tell a lie” philosophy in life. Like you, I too am fond of a good walk ruined and thus it came that I was late for a dinner party one night becuase I stopped off to play a few fast holes. I was only fifteen minutes late, and of course, my excuse was traffic, but alas, other people at the party were just as adamant traffic was quite light, and soon the jig was up. It was my own fault, I should have told the truth, but I also thought that there are lies and there are LIES. Sleeping on the sofa would have been a more suitable punishment, but there you go. We can get far too precious. Or maybe I just don’t understand the concept of truth. Needless to say, I remain single. 🙂

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