Woo hoo! I’ve made it to the top of Google search. An absolute and definite first on the list.
You may remember in my last post (about adverts on the internet) I tagged “Rhino slasher porn”. In a moment of quiet contemplation I thought I would search for this phrase to see what happened. Now it may be that the internet has already noted that I (or maybe this computer) have an interest in such things and as such presents me with items most likely to attract my attention. I’m not complaining, it worked for me.
The Daily Post wonders what we do when we turn off the glowing boxes that are our constant companions. It made me consider first of all what glowing boxes are there in my household that grab the attention. There’s a raft of computers (not literally, you couldn’t set sail on them like Thor Heyerdahl did on Kon Tiki did. You’d find yourself very damp if you tried that), there are a couple of TV screens. One is used for TV viewing and the other one seems to be involved in a permanent Call of Duty battle that also seems to elicit far more conversation from the young combatant involved than anything that happens around the dining room table.
There’s a bunch of mobile phones (again, they’ve not been picked from the garden and are stuck in a vase, that would be silly) but at least one of them is permanently on and likes to chirrup away merrily at the amusing thoughts posted all over the internet by sundry acquaintances.
So lets turn them all off. Here comes a targeted power cut that stops everything with a screen from working. Three, two, one…
Well. We’re not going anywhere in my car. There’s a little screen that controls pretty much everything that happens. I touch it for information and I touch it for music and I touch it to tell me how much fuel I have left.
There’s a thud. That’ll be the boy fainting at the thought of not being connected to anything. If he’s banged his head I’ll Google the correct way to bandage him up. Oh. Wait. No I won’t.
There are lots of things to do whilst we have daylight. I can happily potter around on the vegetable patch. It was sadly neglected this year just after planting and so I’m finding all sorts of curious things that I’d forgotten I had planted. I spent a good chunk of this weekend clearing an area for planting next years garlic and onions and I found a whole row of purple carrots and the best part of two dozen parsnips that I’d forgotten that I had planted. There’s also a little motorbike that I’m working on that keeps me quiet for hours so I’m going to be as happy as Larry whilst the sun is on the correct side of the planet.
Night time may prove more of a challenge. I’m fortunate enough to not own a kindle or similar so I can definitely read a book if it takes my fancy as they don’t require a screen. We could perhaps play board games (the boy calls them bored games, he is such a wit). The last family encounter with a deck of cards ended up in an unfortunate situation involving a bowl of peanuts (ostensibly being used as coinage for gambling) self-propelling across a table and having an unfortunate and ultimately terminal encounter with the corner of a dresser (that’ll be a piece of furniture, not Tom Courtenay pandering to Albert Finney’s every whim).
We are fortunate in our house that we can manage to carry a conversation on for hours. Admittedly the many strands of conversation don’t necessarily relate to one another but that just goes to make it more entertaining. I am sure that I’m not the only person in the world who has taken part in a conversation that goes like this.
“I’ve just finished the paintwork on the bike”
“We need some milk. What colour?”
“Did you see that article in the newspaper about children who are working from the age of 6?”
“I think Liverpool are going to finish in the top four this season, do we have any milk?”
“Can I get a lift over to Kingston ”
“Buncie on COD got shot 4 times in about a minute. I’m dropping him from the team”
“I’ve been working since I was 4”
“Go and get some milk then”
So I don’t think we will actually struggle too much when the screens are turned off. One of the big benefits may be that there will be no CCTV to record the carnage after several hours of us behaving naturally
There will be others with a far more entertaining view on “Unplugged” at the Daily Post page. Why not while away the hours by reading their visions (providing you can find a screen that works of course).