That period of time after you have decided you are going to have a party. Invites have been posted (was it wise to go with the kitsch ones featuring my little pony? Maybe it would have been better to just use plain paper or just something with a few balloons printed on it) and you start to worry whether anyone will turn up.
On the big day – I’m pretty sure that the floor has been vacuumed and swept half to death. The toilet has been cleaned (you really don’t want to know what has been happening around that bowl) and the table is laid out with bowls of peanuts and olives (keep the crisps covered until the last minute, they’re going to go soft otherwise).
I’ve put out a dozen or so wine glasses and a handful of beer glasses. The problem here is that I don’t want it to look like I was expecting more people than actually showed up, but I really don’t want anybody rooting through the cupboards looking for more glasses (or worse still, drinking out of the mug with the faded “I’m a big boy” legend printed on the side).
I really can’t decide what will be worse. Nobody turning up at all or just a couple of people. Especially a couple of people who don’t really know each other. They’ll have to make small talk. “Well, at least there’s plenty to drink”, “Did you travel far? Oh, really? I’ve never been there”. Jeez. I’m just going to turn up the music and get legless.
Please, let yourselves in. There’s a couple of posts here already. Enjoy the sandwiches, sorry if the ends have curled up a bit. I prepared them some time ago and was expecting you all earlier. Take a look around. Comment on the decor, read the “About Verbal Hedge” link and gossip about how he’s gone downhill since he started messing about with that motorbike. Try not to get cigarette ash on the carpet, it took me ages to clean it.
I’m so glad somebody has turned up. I can keep on blogging now.